Birds, and Bees, and Coconut Trees
by The Baterelle
Summary: “WHAT!”, Sakura screamed, “You want me to tell Naruto where.. babies come from! ?”.]SakuxNaruPLAYFULROMANCE. Awkwardness oneshot[.


Disclaimer: Naruto no belongs to me.

Inspiration: It's cliché. I thought of it one night alone when I was dying for humor.

"WHAT!", Sakura screamed, "You want me to tell Naruto where.. babies come from?".SakuxNaru. Awkwardness -- oneshot[.

**Author's**_**Note**_:   
Yeah, this is obviously going to be funny. It has some naughty humor.. ;O And bad jokes. Hee!  
No, it's not going to be detailed, and mature, and all of that... _mess_, but it is going to be quite awkward.  
I don't even know fully how babies enter this world; just the basics. And I'm 14, so, it says a lot for how pathetic I am, ha-ha.  
Hope you enjoy!

Rated 'T' for safety.

**a review would be lovely. (:**

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"Sakura... calm down."

"No way, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura huffed, her ivy green eyes filled with rage.

"It's for the best, Sakura."

"Forget it! I respect you, Kakashi -- I honestly do. But.. well... why _me_?"

"He's twelve, Sakura. He's getting a little too old to not... well, you know.. _know_."

"Well, I hate to say it, but Sasuke would do a better job of discussing _that_." She folded her arms neatly in front of her.

"I know, Sakura-"

"Or even you!" She said desperately, letting her arms flail. "But _me_? I'm a girl, Kakashi-sensei! You can't actually expect..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes darted to the side.

"Sasuke's not here, Sakura. He won't be back for a little while, and well, I.. have.. things... to do." He shrugged his hands into his pockets, his one eye lazily meeting her eyes.

She looked crossly at him, "... You just don't want to talk to the baka about that, do you?"

"Nope", Kakashi said guiltily, and smiled, eyes closing, "But look on the bright side, Sakura."

"What bright side?"

"If you "demonstrated", maybe then he would leave you alone?"

Sakura's mouth formed an 'O'. "Wow, Kakashi-sensei... you're a huge pervert..."

He shook his head, "I'm kidding, Sakura. All I'm saying is, well, just tell him. Then slip away while he sits there awkwardly. And don't give him a nice description, either."

Sakura raised her eyebrows, then let them fall into a sharp look, "Yeah, right. That's the last thing I'd give him."

"Good. He might get a nosebleed", He said, his voice distorted as he pulled his book up to his nose.

"If he even says one thing, _I'll_ give him a reason to bleed." Sakura growled, balling one of her fists.

"He's in his room, I think. Have a nice time Sakura." Kakashi said, and smiled at her one last time, before immediatly returning to his book.

"Yeah, okay", Sakura said grudgingly, smiling wearily. It seemed like a trance as she sluggishly walked to where Naruto lived. _Get a grip, Sakura_, She scolded herself, and brought her fist to the door.

_Knock, knock, knock._

She heard foosteps, falling, cursing, and then saw the door open with a loud 'whoosh'. Naruto smiled at her, his blonde hair in his blue eyes, irises focused on her. He continued his animalistic grin, and then said, "So.. what brings you here today, Sakura?"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't even waste your breath, Naruto. I'm here against my will."

"Okay, then.. tell me who sent you, and I'll thank them." His eyes were trained on her as she walked into his all-too humble abode. He was going to try and be smooth. He reached out to lean against the wall, but, his palm missed it and...

'THUD.'

"Smooth, Naruto", Sakura droned, and rolled her eyes.

Naruto jumped up quickly, "I AM O-KAY!" He shouted, pumping a fist into the air.

"Nobody asked you, _Naruto_", Sakura nipped, crossing her arms.

"Ignoring that...", He said happily, "I'll just pretend someone did, then, _Sakura_."

"You're such an idiot." She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, "Okay, have a seat."

"Nah, I want to stand."

"That wasn't a _request_, Naruto!"

He blinked, frowning, "Fine, Sakura.. jeez, what's got your panties in a twist?"

The question made her blush a deep violet red. "Uh... well... Naruto..." She shifted awkwardly, looking at her sandals, "Do you happen to know where babies come from?"

"Well, sure I do."

That was a relief! She almost let herself smile. She raised her eyes to his. "Oh..., okay, then."

Naruto looked at her curiously. "Why? What's that question for? It's a stupid question." He didn't turn even a little bit pink.

Her tone of voice change, her look going from soft to sharp, "Where do they come from, Naruto?"

"That's easy, Sakura.." Naruto said with a shrug, "The Stork."

"...hn...?"

He rolled his eyes, "Everybody knows _that_, Sakura. The Stork delivers them."

Sakura twitched, and began to guffaw. Her laugh was nervous, and twisted, and completely ooc. "Are you kidding me? The _Stork_!" She shouted, giggling, wrapping her arms around herself.

Naruto looked both perplexed and slightly annoyed, "Okay, so was there any other reason you came here? Besides to look at my amazing body, of course, and laugh at me?"

Sakura stiffened, her laughter subsiding, "Yeah, okay, I did come over here for a reason. Uh, to tell you a story."

Naruto raised both of his eyebrows, his lips turning in a smirk.

"Kakashi _made_ me, you baka!"

"I'm listening."

"Okay..." Sakura swallowed hard, "It's about birds.. and bees.. and-"

"Hey! Hold _everything_!" He ran out of the room as quick as lightning, only to return seconds later with a huge, walloping bowl of ramen.

"... How'd you get that so fast, Naruto?"

"Oh, that's easy", He said inbetween mouthfuls, "I-"

"Nevermind. I don't wanna know."

"Your loss", Naruto said with a shrug, indulging in his precious soup.

"Anyway", Sakura grumbled impatiently, "Birds, and bees. Yeah -- let's cut to the chase."

Naruto was partially ignoring her, and partially listening. He was quite caught up in his ramen.

"Okay, so this bird goes up to a bee... and he says, ""Hello, bee. We should fly sometime", and then..." Sakura continued on with the rest of the story. Quite quickly, actually.

Naruto raised his hand, "Okay, wait, what? When the heck did coconut trees get involved?"

"That's where the purple egg comes in, _idiot_."

"Oh, yeah!" Naruto said with a grin, which faded to a look of confusion, "Okay - _what_?"

"Nevermind... must I explain everything?"

"Uhm, _yeah_". Naruto said with a roll of his blue eyes.

Sakura twitched. "Okay, Naruto... nevermind..."

Naruto's face turned a bright shade of red. He was sucking in his cheeks, but soon let out a long breath and a ton of laughing. "Sakura", He finally said, "Are you trying to teach me about _sex_?"

Sakura's mouth was so wide open she almost was sure it would fall off. "Wha... and you... and Kakashi... and you know?" Her face was glowing crimson.

Naruto grinned, giggling, "Oh, yeah. I know it's not the Stork, Sakura.. just a big joke. On _you_." He literally was rolling on the floor laughing.

Sakura screamed out of aggrivation, "You... you baka! I can't believe you, Naruto!"

"It was my idea... Kakashi just helped me with it.." Naruto shouted inbetween gasps for air. "You... you fell for it! Who's the boob now!"

"Don't you even say boob after all of _that_, Naruto!"

"Boob, boob, boob!"

"Shut up, or I'm going to kick you in the face, Naruto!"

"Booooooooooooooooooooooooooob!"

She held her breath, and kicked as hard as she could. She didn't know -- nevertheless, _care_, what she was aiming at. When her vision wasn't blurred with anger, however, she saw Naruto grabbing his lower front, sprawled on the ground in an awkward position.

"Ow, Sakura! You kicked me in the-"

"Don't you say it, baka!"

"Fine!" Naruto shouted, "You kicked me where the sun-don't-shine!"

"It's _doesn't_, you idiot."

"Do I look like I'm even thinking about that right now!"

"No, of course not! You don't look like you're _ever _thinking!"

"Oh, yeah?", Naruto shouted, "Well you always look..." He paused to consider the possibilities.

"Ha-ha", Sakura said with a smirk, tapping her foot on the ground.

"_Cute_!"

"..."

"Wow, that was weird in a time like this."

"All I have to say now is - _what_?"

He sat up, and grinned at her, "So, when're we gonna get to the good parts in 'mating', Sakura? You know, like kissing, and hum-"

_'WHACK.'_

"Ow! Quit kicking me, will'ya!"

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**EndingAuthor'sNote:  
**Review, pleeeeease! I'd appreciate it.  
I don't like the way it turned out.  
But I'd like opinions. (:

Thanks!  
Sincerely your's,  
The-ever-changing-penname-authoress,  
**The Baterelle**.


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